i can feel the tears sitting on my neck.
they're cold...kind of refreshing on such a warm night.
i don't like the fact that i'm crying.

it makes me feel dehydrated.

it makes my face wet.

it makes me feel stupid.

both sides of my pillow are wet so i have to lie on my back, looking up at the ceiling.
my nose keeps running.

i'm crying over how sick you are.
i'm crying over that awkward conversation.
im crying over you.
i'm crying over that 'fight'.
i'm crying over how much i love you.
i'm crying from embarassment.
i'm crying a lot.

i don't know what exactly made me jump out of bed at 1am & write this down.
in my head it sounded so painfully beautiful, so poetic.
now, digitalised & black&white it feels fake.
nothing ever looks as good as it does in your imagination.
i need to sleep. i need to turn my pillow over & sleep.