dear you.

please take a moment out of your oh-so-busy schedule (which includes working, sleeping & flirting with that cake face) to tell me where it is i stand with you.

if you want to be friends, tell me. i will cry, i will be pissed, i will drunkly call you begging you to want me again, asking you & asking you what i did wrong; but at the end of all that, i will be ok. I will realise that we have to be civil around one another because of the whole 3837 mutual friends thing, & i will be nice to you & all that jazz.

if you want me, tell me. i will probably freak out, kiss you, get possesive & go insane.

for fuck's sake, stop being a pussy. just tell me.

Hello. Welcome to my happiness box...

it contains the following.

a plane letter from asian.

a plane letter from ruthless.
a plane letter from best.

reminds me of america. fuck that was awesome.

ethos - the issue where my article was published.

reminds me of how proud i was of myself.

card from model.

reminds me of how much she loved me.

birthday letter from favorite.

reminds me how i would be lost without him.

definatly one of the best birthday presents ever.

handmade quote book from best.

short sentences of wisdom.

birthday card from best.

in love.

face to face photo album from snuggle.

i look at half of these photos & laugh.
i look at the other half & fall back in love.

short letter from redhead.

she said some lovely things...

i think everybody needs a happiness box.

I can't remember the link...

i want a bigger room. i want you to buy me flowers. i want to not be jealous. i want my fringe re-cut. i want to see where i'll be in 10 years. i want to see where you'll be in 10 years. i want to go on a roadtrip. fuck that, i want to drive until i feel like stopping. i want to see a clownfish again. i want to ride an elephant again. i want to get tanned. i want things to stay the same. i want things to change. i want to make presents for my friends. i want better feet. i want to have a massive fucking cry. i want to tell you how much i love you. i want to ask you what i did wrong. i want to go sailing. i want to eat fish & chips on the beach while the sun sets. i want to be sailor moon. i want to be rich. i want to change the world. i want to crawl into a hole and dissappear. i want to witness my own funeral. i want to eat better. i want to be more flexible. i want one of my dreams to come true. i want to ride a horse. i want to stare at the stars. i want an ice cream. i want to hear every single thing every single person has ever said about me. i want to be analysed. i want to do a brilliant audition. i want to have an epiphany. i want to kiss you. i want you to want me like i used to want you. i want to forget that you ever looked at me like that. i want to have a punch on. i want face paint. i want a new job. i want to get drunk. i want you to stop being a pussy and tell me what the fuck is up with us. i want to go to fiji with my best fucking friends and just swim and laugh. i want to build a kickass cubby house. i want to see you dance. i want you to realise that you weren't the only one who got hurt out of all that. i want you to see how beautiful you are. i want to want to help you, but sometimes i feel like i just can't do it. i want those sunglasses back. i want to know if you enjoy me as much as i enjoy you. i want more jewellery. i want to be neater. i want to do zumba. i want to be a muse. i want to make my own clothes. i want to write into le love. i want to know why i actually give a shit when i see a photo of you two kissing. i want to go to confession. i want to volunteer. i want to lie under a blanket and tell secrets. i want to have some good secrets. i want to be trusted. i want to be able to accept and defeat conflict. i want a baby duck that stays a baby forever. i want to be a photographer. i want to be a dj. i want someone to say 'i feel lucky to know her'. i want this to never fall apart. i want you to stop annoying me. i want you to come home! i want to find out what my sister actually gets up to. i want someone related to me to have a baby. i want to explore...something. i want to be a monkey for a day. i want to be a bird for a day. i want to be unique. i want to stop caring what you think. i want to be able to grab every single moment i have been happy and put it in a jar so that i can relive them when i feel like no-one loves me or when i feel like i have no direction. i want to lock the family in a house for a week so that we have to spend time together and re-fucking-bond. i want to keep some traditions alive. i want to go camping. i want to show you how amazing i think you are. i want to tell someone, anyone, that sometimes, i really just don't care and i don't put in the effort i'm supposed to because i don't love you like i used to, but i can't because even thinking that makes me feel like a terrible person. i want to know why our friendship is so fucking different to every other friendship i have. i want you to stop stealing my friend's jokes. i want to tell you that i'm not the only one who's concerned about it. i want to give you the family life you deserve. i want to tell you that even though i love you more than words, i will never be equal to you; the world has far bigger plans in mind for you. i want to see you more often. i want to stop them bullying you. in fact, i want to punch them in the fucking face. i want a mentor. i want to visit a castle. i want to get a HD. i want to be as driven as you. i want to see inception. i want to be able to fall asleep with someone and not have to warn them that i snore. i want to stop being a bitch. i want a good cup of tea. i want fresh sheets every day of the week. i want to actually do this stuff instead of just writing about it on my blog.

fuckshitfuck.

Click it...

i love this girl

Flawless...

i wish i, could do better by, you cause thats what you deserve.

you sacrifice, so much of your life, in order for this to work.

you don't ask for no diamond rings, no delicate string of pearls, that's why i wrote this song to sing, my beautiful girl.

and when you cry, a pice of my heart dies, knowing that i may have been the cause.

do you realise how much i love you?

do you realise how beautiful you are?

"you know the black bits in bananas? are they tarantula eggs?"

more is never enough.

Disney...

i love you so much.

you have no idea.

ps i found this recording of you singing & playing 'sk8r boy'.

i listen to it all the time.

pps you're so going to bag me for that aren't you?

there is something so unbearably addictive about spooning.

it's just so lovely & warm.

it gives me butterflies.

Ahhhhhh fuck.

Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn...

free fries. wrong carpark. NERDS. outfits. pres. nailpolish. deck. tazma. wrong number. stalker. $8.50. downer. souvlakis. soccer. vom. 9am. sneak out. HUNGOVER.

YIPPEE...

MY BEST FRIEND IS HOMEEEEEEEEEE!

I REALLY...

DESPERATLY DESPERATLY DESPERATLY WANT THESE.

AWOOT WOOT...

cheap & amazing clothing from hairy cat!

love it!



by the way, her blog stuns & amazes me.

Suprisingly...

i don't have anything important or exciting to say.

i drew tattoos on myself today.

off to watch my cousin's band play.