This is love...

finally realised that i have never felt as comfortable & happy as i do around my family.
they make me laugh.
their kindness makes me cry.
their stories keep me entertained.
& their love makes me happy.
i like the person that i am around them.
i like the way they make me feel.
this is love.


model's going away party.
highlights.
-disney drinking beer in his uniform
-cutie & i wrestling & laughing
-swan & gangsta singing/rapping/beat boxing
-rocking & hitting favorite's car

model gave out homemade cards.
everyone cried.
"this is too fucking emotional man."


headed into the hawthorn.
didn't really like it the second time either.

saw famous.
hot dang i should've macked him.

saw 2789423 people i knew.
or had met once.

watched brother's amazing drink-stealing techniques.


massive chat with brother.
have realised that he truly is a role model in my life.
& i love him like a brother.

cutie & messy = adorable & soooo into each other.


hawthorn closed.
went to find brother's goon.
found an unopened bottle of champers.
skulled it down.

went to nevermind.
sat outside.
brother 'read me'.

"1. you're 85-90% more insecure than people think.
2. you really have no idea what you want to do with your life or where you want to go. you could be more than you are.
3. you're scared of being in a relationship because you don't know what a relationship entails because you've never experienced it."

the most honest & correct interpretation of me.
(defs a bit different, but i can't remember it properly)


met up with sister.
got driven home (Y)

had 3 hours sleep.
went to work.

had an ok shift...
until it ended.
then it became phenomenal.

model came to pick me up.
to say goodbye.
"i didn't want to say goodbye drunk"
i have never been more touched.
"you're the last person i'm gonna see before i leave"
i love her.



off to experience some awkward times in this life of mine...


"i wish i could do better by you cause that's what you deserve..."