i don't know

feelings of uncertainty and fear and panic
maybe i just don't like you enough

but when i kiss you something sparks within me
and i cannot imagine our lips a part

is it because of him? or just because of me?
i'm not used to this, you're don't hold back

you make me smile and you hold my hand
it's all so different to everything before

hold your breath and take the plunge

don't think just do.

uni assignment

It shines through the thick curtains

Bright yellow rays that say it is time

Time to face me, embrace me

It is today, no longer can you hide

In the dark comfort of night’s blanket

Surrounding you and hiding you from

The things that terrify you, threaten you

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Alarm, reminding you it’s time

Get up. Go. Move.

Snooze. Silence and light that filters through the dust

It moves but there is no wind

Eyes tear holes in the ceiling

Imagine if you hadn’t woken up

Who would cry, who would notice

Would they bury you or burn you?

Silence underground, cold and dark

Listening to the earth’s heartbeat

As it slowly takes hold, dragging you

Into it’s body, opening it’s ribcage

To welcome and consume you

Or to fire, to fire, into ash

Tiny parts that fly across the planet

Or settle in that special place the mourners picked

Until the wind picks up

Moves you along, takes you to water

Where you dissolve and melt

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Again. Get up. Snooze.

You let him put his hands on you

Grabbing  fierce under the street light

The world was cold but he was so warm

The light was yellow and he looked so beautiful

Taste of flesh and lust and want

Softly whispered lies between kisses

Stop. Remembering. Change, force your mind to change

Books you haven’t read and words you haven’t written

You head in his hands, your heart in his palm

The monologue you must memorise, repeat it now

Softly biting his lower lip, he moans

“Fetch me my robe, bring me my crown”

Your fingers in his hair, his hands on your hips

“I have immortal longings in me”

Sit up. Rub eyes, shake head, halfway there.

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Again. You’re up.

Feet touch the floor, solid ground

i'm just not sure. 

not sure.

not certain.

not convinced.

chase me want me crave me.

"i am in control of my emotions and today i chose happiness"

there is beauty in everything.

be grateful that you can feel this much.

i think it's time to get a tattoo.

time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

and we both know that it's gone too fast
and we both keep saying that the past is the past

but it's too hard and i'm too scared
and deep down i know that you're not prepared

i don't want this but i do want you
and that is why i don't know what to do

and time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

feelings complicate everything
the drama and the pain that they bring

along with all of the brilliant joy
i am so glad i met you boy

we could have something great
and i don't want to leave it too late

and time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

 i'll never regret and i won't forget
and i won't let you either, no not yet

don't fucking shut down
don't fucking close over

this is worth more than that
we've just gotta remember it's a fact

thank you for inspiring me and for seeing
what i could not see

and time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

and we both know that it's gone too fast
and we both keep saying that the past is the past

the world.

there once was a girl

she lived in a world that has long been washed away

she was beautiful, her eyes were as deep as the ocean,

her skin glowed like the pale light of the moon

she was intoxicating, memorising and when she danced the stars would come to play

people sung songs about her

they wrote poems for her, drew paintings for her

her beauty placed the world in the palm of her hand

and she wrapped her fingers around it

softly, gently, she knew she was lucky

she had tattoos all up and down her arms

words to inspire herself and the lovers that kissed her

pictures of things that she had seen

of things she wanted to create

she inspired people to be better, do better

she would take long walks in the woods

flower petals in her hair and grass between her toes

the birds praised her as she breezed past

the sun would shine patterns through the leaves

and she would lie down and trace them with her fingertips

one day she lay there, in the woods tracing with her fingertips,

when a boy approached and sat beside her

his eyes were as vast as the sky and his skin shone like the sun

he had tattoos on his arms of things he loved and feared

he held out the palm of his hand

he said ‘your beauty spans the ages. Here, I offer you the world’

she looked at him, and closed his fingers gently

‘your beauty beats my heart but I have my own.’

she held his head in her hands and kissed his closed eyes

‘for though I love you, I cannot become you’

he opened his eyes and took her hand

their world’s collided, fed off the energy of the other, but they did not break

two beauties walking through the woods,

wandering but not lost, until ages past and eras changed

until the time came for them to lay beneath the stars

listening to the beat of their fading hearts

becoming one with the earth as the stars shone above.

feeling uninspired.

i am feeling stronger than i've felt in a long time - i feel like i know myself now, that i have accepted the person that i am and will continue to be. i feel happy and grateful and at peace with my faults. i feel secure, in myself and in my relationships with the wonderful people who are in my life. i am happy and i feel beautiful and proud. 

perhaps we are doomed

perhaps everything is doomed

everything will be alright in the end

if it's not alright, it isn't the end

and it will, i promise you that

it will be ok.

i guess you had no idea that you could have persuaded me
that you could've had me doing anything you pleased

and it could have went so many ways
so many ways it can go

to me, we probably could have had it all
you could have been my lonely star
if we just went on

montreal - the weeknd

fire.

there's a fire in you.
it burns deep, quiet.
i can see the sparks behind your eyes.

there's a fire in you.
it's full of frustration and anger;
for things you can't control.
it's bursting with determination
and glows with love and appreciation.

there's a fire in you.
it will lead you to do wonderful things.
you will change something, create something.
something wonderful. you are wonderful.

there's a fire in you.
you're good for me - i hope i'm good for you.
i wonder if you know the impact you have.
if you really comprehend the mark you'll make on the world.
i'm glad i met you.

there's a fire in you.
it burns deep, quiet.
i can see the sparks behind your eyes.