i know that it's going to take time but i really just want to feel better now.

one second i'm fine.

next second i cry.

next second the thought of anyone else makes me sick.

next second i hate everything.

next second I want you to just regret it all and call me.

next second i stalk all the boys i want to pash.

then i think up a million different sneaky plans to get you back.

but you've never changed your mind before. and i'm not special enough to an exception.

such a fucking cliche, the first heartbreak is the hardest.

i have so many things i want to ask you, so many things i want you to think about, so many things that i should have said when it happened. but my tears stole my courage and my voice.

i feel sicksaddesperateangryheartbrokenconfusedsadsadsadsadsad.

i wish i could hate you.

i'm so not ready for this.

i feel like crying i feel like i miss you i feel crazy i feel irrational i feel like there is no one to talk to i feel like talking to everyone i feel like talking to no one i feel like being hugged i feel like being left alone i feel like crying i feel like singing i feel like creating i feel like destroying i feel like crying i feel like kissing you i feel like an idiot i feel like shit. i feel like i need something.

so many things i want to say but no idea how to say them
so many things i want to do but no idea how to do them

so much poetry i want to write but no idea how to write it
i really enjoy poetry i have decided recently

i've been in my head too much
making up scenarios and things
going a little bit crazy
most of the time it's fine
it's good to be a little crazy isn't it?
until i think about that one particular thing
it shouldn't bother me so much
i know it shouldn't
but it does
and i pray that it will dissappear

you are so comfortable to lie in bed with.

seriously i could do it all day.

i don't know what this feeling is but i hope it pisses off as soon as possible because it's freaking me out and i can't figure out what it means. i can't figure out if it's physical or mental but i want it to stop because it's pissing me off and only decides to appear at random times and drives me slightly insane because i don't know what to do about it and how i can resolve it. and i know that i'll soon stop being crazy especially the moment i see your face i just need to not feel like this. seriously i don't know why i do because you have made me so happy so frequently. fucking hell i need an emotional translastor all up in here.

i love your sense of self - you know who are.

i wonder if you know how rare that is.