i don't know

feelings of uncertainty and fear and panic
maybe i just don't like you enough

but when i kiss you something sparks within me
and i cannot imagine our lips a part

is it because of him? or just because of me?
i'm not used to this, you're don't hold back

you make me smile and you hold my hand
it's all so different to everything before

hold your breath and take the plunge

don't think just do.

uni assignment

It shines through the thick curtains

Bright yellow rays that say it is time

Time to face me, embrace me

It is today, no longer can you hide

In the dark comfort of night’s blanket

Surrounding you and hiding you from

The things that terrify you, threaten you

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Alarm, reminding you it’s time

Get up. Go. Move.

Snooze. Silence and light that filters through the dust

It moves but there is no wind

Eyes tear holes in the ceiling

Imagine if you hadn’t woken up

Who would cry, who would notice

Would they bury you or burn you?

Silence underground, cold and dark

Listening to the earth’s heartbeat

As it slowly takes hold, dragging you

Into it’s body, opening it’s ribcage

To welcome and consume you

Or to fire, to fire, into ash

Tiny parts that fly across the planet

Or settle in that special place the mourners picked

Until the wind picks up

Moves you along, takes you to water

Where you dissolve and melt

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Again. Get up. Snooze.

You let him put his hands on you

Grabbing  fierce under the street light

The world was cold but he was so warm

The light was yellow and he looked so beautiful

Taste of flesh and lust and want

Softly whispered lies between kisses

Stop. Remembering. Change, force your mind to change

Books you haven’t read and words you haven’t written

You head in his hands, your heart in his palm

The monologue you must memorise, repeat it now

Softly biting his lower lip, he moans

“Fetch me my robe, bring me my crown”

Your fingers in his hair, his hands on your hips

“I have immortal longings in me”

Sit up. Rub eyes, shake head, halfway there.

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Again. You’re up.

Feet touch the floor, solid ground