i don't know why you love me.

i'm not quite sure how you see the wonderful in me through all my crazy shit.





**********************

this is all too much
too much for one little person like me
i feel like i'm drowning in my own laziness
i'm so good at lying to myself
overwhelmed.
all my own fault. 

daisy the birthday girl

i wish you every happiness in the world
not because it's a cliche, not because i feel i have to say that.
i wish it because you of all people on this earth deserve it
you are the strongest person i know.
i could not do what you have done.
i will never understand you completely, but i think i like that.
you're a mystery sometimes.
you are my best friend in the entire world.
you inspire me and love me and that is all i could hope for.
i am so lucky to call you a friend, to hold a special place in your heart.

please remember on this day that you are incredible
you are special
you are important
you are unique.
you are passionate
and creative
and a wise human being
who's impact in this world will not go unnoticed.
never stop painting or writing or dreaming or living.
never stop changing and creating and moving.
believe in yourself - i am proud of you.

i love you with all that i have.

happy 21st birthday

dear best friend
you are my best friend
love, your best friend.

i don't know

feelings of uncertainty and fear and panic
maybe i just don't like you enough

but when i kiss you something sparks within me
and i cannot imagine our lips a part

is it because of him? or just because of me?
i'm not used to this, you're don't hold back

you make me smile and you hold my hand
it's all so different to everything before

hold your breath and take the plunge

don't think just do.

uni assignment

It shines through the thick curtains

Bright yellow rays that say it is time

Time to face me, embrace me

It is today, no longer can you hide

In the dark comfort of night’s blanket

Surrounding you and hiding you from

The things that terrify you, threaten you

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Alarm, reminding you it’s time

Get up. Go. Move.

Snooze. Silence and light that filters through the dust

It moves but there is no wind

Eyes tear holes in the ceiling

Imagine if you hadn’t woken up

Who would cry, who would notice

Would they bury you or burn you?

Silence underground, cold and dark

Listening to the earth’s heartbeat

As it slowly takes hold, dragging you

Into it’s body, opening it’s ribcage

To welcome and consume you

Or to fire, to fire, into ash

Tiny parts that fly across the planet

Or settle in that special place the mourners picked

Until the wind picks up

Moves you along, takes you to water

Where you dissolve and melt

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Again. Get up. Snooze.

You let him put his hands on you

Grabbing  fierce under the street light

The world was cold but he was so warm

The light was yellow and he looked so beautiful

Taste of flesh and lust and want

Softly whispered lies between kisses

Stop. Remembering. Change, force your mind to change

Books you haven’t read and words you haven’t written

You head in his hands, your heart in his palm

The monologue you must memorise, repeat it now

Softly biting his lower lip, he moans

“Fetch me my robe, bring me my crown”

Your fingers in his hair, his hands on your hips

“I have immortal longings in me”

Sit up. Rub eyes, shake head, halfway there.

Let you put your hands on me in my skin tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Again. You’re up.

Feet touch the floor, solid ground

i'm just not sure. 

not sure.

not certain.

not convinced.

chase me want me crave me.

"i am in control of my emotions and today i chose happiness"

there is beauty in everything.

be grateful that you can feel this much.

i think it's time to get a tattoo.

time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

and we both know that it's gone too fast
and we both keep saying that the past is the past

but it's too hard and i'm too scared
and deep down i know that you're not prepared

i don't want this but i do want you
and that is why i don't know what to do

and time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

feelings complicate everything
the drama and the pain that they bring

along with all of the brilliant joy
i am so glad i met you boy

we could have something great
and i don't want to leave it too late

and time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

 i'll never regret and i won't forget
and i won't let you either, no not yet

don't fucking shut down
don't fucking close over

this is worth more than that
we've just gotta remember it's a fact

thank you for inspiring me and for seeing
what i could not see

and time's the only thing that can't be bought
and we wasted it when we fought

and we both know that it's gone too fast
and we both keep saying that the past is the past